I'm here for you, always
by Wannabe.Band.Geek
Summary: Being seventeen is never as easy as it appears. Somehow, through trauma and horror, love seems to sprout between the most unlikely of pairs. But it had always been undeniable the passion between both Lily and James had always been there.
1. Chapter 1

I'm here for you; always.

Summary: Being seventeen is never as easy as it appears. Somehow, through trauma and horror, love seems to sprout between the most unlikely of pairs. But it had always been undeniable; the passion between both Lily and James had always been there.

Genre and Rating: Romance and Angst. Rating M, just to be safe.

Disclaimer: For fuck's sake, people. If I had invented Harry Potter, would I still be writing fan-fictions?

Chapter 1: I want to know you.

"Get your freakish arse down here, now!" A shrill voice called up the stairs, a rapping then heard as the impatient young woman drummed her fingers on the stair rail. "Vernon's waiting. I don't want to be late because of _you_!"

It was then that another girl appeared at the top of the stairs, lugging a heavy trunk behind her. She was considerably pretty, especially in comparison to the woman at the bottom of the stairs. Nothing special, with dark red hair, recently cut to her shoulders, and startlingly green eyes. The two simple features were enough to pick the youth out in a crowd. As she passed her sister, she stopped for a moment, staring stonily at the bony, pallid figure in front of her.

"Just…Just shut up, Petunia." She said, shaking her head. Petunia stood there dumbfounded, watching her sister walk out the front door, her trunk dragging along the carpet.

"Lily! Petunia, dears, move it along, now…" A woman called from the front seat of the family car. "You're both going to be late if we don't leave soon."

Throwing her trunk into the backseat of the car, she quickly climbed into the passengers' seat before Petunia had the chance. As her sister clambered into the backseat, next to her trunk, Lily smirked over her shoulder so her mother couldn't see.

"Mum!" Petunia whined, sounding rather like a spoiled little child. "Why does that…_freak_ get to sit in the front seat? I'm older!"

"Nonsense Petunia. Lily got here first; she can sit in the front seat." Mrs. Evans said, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway. The eldest of the two daughters remained in a huff throughout the whole drive, slumped down against the window with her arms folded over her stomach. She even waited in the car, hurrying into the front seat as Lily stepped out of the car and bade her mother farewell. Swinging a backpack over her shoulder, and adjusting the handle to her trunk in one hand, she gave her mother a quick one armed hug and walked off towards the barrier. She even stopped half-way to the magical brick wall, turning to wave sarcastically at her prude sister and receiving nothing but a glare in return. Oh, how she loved her family.

"G'bye, mum." James Potter muttered lazily, standing with his arms folding against the brick wall.

"Don't blow up any toilets, or set any rooms on fire or –"

"G'bye mum." He repeated.

"…No more swimming in the lake, last year, you came home with a horrible head cold that took forever to get rid of. More than once, your father suggested that I take your temperature the old-fashioned way, just to give you what you deserve. You know, when you stick the thermometer up your – "

"Mum!" James interrupted impatiently "I get it. I'll stay out of trouble."

His mother smiled warmly and brought him into a tight, motherly hug. "I know, I know you will. 'Specially now that you're Head Boy, hmm?" she told him proudly as she pulled away.

"G'bye, mum." He said, yet again as he began to walk away, this time, receiving a wave in return. He lugged his trunk onto the Hogwarts Express, dragging it along behind him as he looked for a compartment. All of them seemed to be rather full, groups of students laughing and chattering in each. He continued walking down the corridor, glancing through the window of every door until he finally spotted a familiar face through one. His best friend, Sirius Black was sitting by the window, his girlfriend Anna sitting in his lap. And across from them, sat another girl by the name of Tyler. She watched the two, a sickened look upon her face as Sirius and Anna seemed to be glued by the lips. As James slid the compartment door open, Tyler looked joyous and thankful that she would have a decent human being to talk to. As he sat down next to the desperate girl, he slid his trunk under his feet and propped them on top.

"'Lo, there Padfoot." James said casually, smiling at his friend and running a hand through his messy black hair.

Sirius raised a hand as his greeting, still holding his trophy girlfriend close to him and not prying his lips away.

Tyler was still staring at them, revolted. "What took you so bloody long?" she asked, turning to James.

The boy grinned "Mother had some rules to set." He said, with a slight nod of his head.

Tyler nodded "I've been waiting for some one decent to talk to for half an hour, now." She said brushing her short, blond hair away from her eyes.

"What, Sirius hasn't been much company?" he asked, quirking a sarcastic eyebrow as the door behind them swung open again. A tall, slender redhead was standing in the doorway, handle of her trunk in one hand, the other holding the door open.

Lily stared over at her friend as she sat next to James Potter. _James Potter,_ and it wasn't a well-kept secret that the muggle-born loathed the boy.

_He looked different…_she found herself thinking…_Different…_

"Hey, Lily." Tyler beamed up at her friend.

"'Lo." She mumbled quietly, adjusted her backpack on her shoulder.

"'Ello, Lily" James said, looking up at her and trying a light smile.

Taken aback, Lily felt her lips curve upwards slightly. "Hello." She said, sitting down beside the window, next to Tyler.

It was known throughout the school that Lily Evans had _always_ been the focus of James Potter's attention, despite the numerous girlfriends that James has dated. It was also known throughout the school that Lily detested his womanizing ways. The fact that he had a new girlfriend every second week was almost enough to make her breakfast force itself up her throat. Yum.

And she just didn't understand why he liked her, so. She was nothing special. An average, rather boring if she did say so herself, red-haired, green-eyed seventeen year old.

Yet, in James' eyes she was the most beautiful person in the entire world, the smartest, most perfect young woman in the universe. The object of his desire, his focus of attention and she had been ever since third year. There was just something about the way her dark, red hair lay just against her shoulders. And something about the way her eyes would grow darker and lighter, and remain beautiful, no matter what her mood was. Oh, how he thought she was perfect.

Lily looked away from the window, as the train began to roll out of the platform and found the James' eyes were still on her. She waved at him lightly, her fingers curved in a graceful manner. He suddenly snapped out of his reverie and looked down at his feet, a faint tinge of red bubbling in his cheeks. Lily found that she couldn't help but smile, as her gaze slowly returned to out the window.


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Being seventeen is never as easy as it appears. Somehow, through trauma and horror, love seems to sprout between the most unlikely of pairs. But it had always been undeniable; the passion between both Lily and James had always been there.

Genre and Rating: Romance and Angst. Rating M, just to be safe.

Disclaimer: For's sake, people. If I had invented Harry Potter, would I still be writing fan-fictions?

Chapter 2: I want to see you.

'Okay, for the last time Padfoot, a relationship isn't solely based on sex.' Remus said consolingly, staring Sirius in the eye. As three of the Marauders sat around a round table, each nursing a bottle of butterbeer in their hands.

'But isn't that the basis of most marriages?' Sirius asked, running a hand through his hair.

'No, marriage is supposed to be based on love and nothing else.' Remus told him, taking a gulp from his bottle.

'But sex is fu-'

'Don't finish that sentence Sirius.' James interrupted, throwing a sickle onto the table and getting to his feet.

'Where are you off to?' Sirius asked, looking up at his friend and chair pushed his chair aside. He left the pub without answering them, but they didn't have to look far for the answer. A group of girls had just walked by the front window, among them, a certain red-head…

'What does he see in her exactly?' Sirius asked, staring after James as he quickened his pace to catch up with Lily and her friends.

'I suppose since she's the only girl in the school who wouldn't go out with him, maybe.' Remus suggested.

'But he's been after her for almost four years, you'd think he'd give up by now.'

Remus shrugged 'I dunno. Honestly, when was the last time Lily shouted at him?'

Sirius thought for a moment. 'She hasn't yelled at him at all. And I thought she'd be yelling more, the fact that they're head boy and girl together and all. You don't think she's warming up to him, do you?'

Remus grinned 'I dunno. But not many women can resist James' charm for long…'

'Eww, no.' Lily muttered, shaking her head.

'Then the cute, Hufflepuff boy. He's been staring at you in Herbology classes.' Caitlin persisted.

'What was his name?' Tyler asked, looking over at Caitlin for a moment.

'Amos, I believe. Something like that, anyway.' She replied with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulder.

'No. I don't need a boyfriend.' Lily stated simply.

'Then get a dog.' Caitlin suggested, looking up at Lily being several inches shorter than the redhead.

'A dog? Why would I want a dog?'

'Yeah, yeah, I see it. You should get a dog. They're just as hairy and slobbery as men. If you don't want a boyfriend, get a dog instead.' Tyler said, nodding with Caitlin, each of their faces bearing an identical grin.

'I'd rather a boyfriend. I don't like dogs.' Lily said, stepping to the right of her friends to let a group of chattering hags push by.

'Good. So we're getting somewhere.' Tyler said triumphantly.

'I know who'd be perfect for you.' Caitlin smirked.

'Yeah? Who?' Lily said skeptically, falling into step alongside her friends once more.

'James Potter.' Caitlin smiled.

James' ears perked at the sound of his name. He had been following Lily and her group of friends for a while now, ever since he had seen them walk by the window of the Three Broomsticks. And he had to admit, their conversation was nothing short of interesting, for a bunch of gossipy girls, anyway.

Lily just rolled her eyes and slid her hands into the pockets of her jean jacket.

'Admit it Lily, you don't hate him as much as you lead on.'

'Forget it guys. Come on, we'd better head back.'

'I tried.' Caitlin shrugged, sliding into her Quidditch robes.

'Not hard enough. You didn't exactly pursue the statement.' James told her, grabbing his broom from the corner of the changing room. It was the first Quidditch game of the year, Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

'It's not my job to make her change her mind, James. That's something you've got to work on yourself,' she said wisely, tossing her long black hair over her shoulder and hastily tying up into a ponytail. 'I broke her shell for you. She doesn't loathe you as much as she did.'

She took her own broom and walked out of the changing room, James right on her tail.

'I need your help though. None of Lily's other friends would help me.' He pleaded.

'Look, I'm only helping you because I know how much you like her. And I think you'd make her happy.'

'I know that, and I appreciate it. But please, Caitlin, please help me. Just give me a few hints about all that lovey-dovey crap that women like. Lily, in particular.'

They stood with the rest of the team, waiting to fly out and wait for the game to start.

'Alright, I help you. Just, don't make me regret this, please James.'

They heard the whistle blow from outside and waited for the other members of the team to soar out before them. James quickly kissed her on the cheek to show his thanks, a broad smile on his face as he flew out after them. As the keeper, Caitlin flew out last and took her place by the goalposts.

'Gryffindor scores!' a voice boomed out over the crowds, '40-20 for Gryffindor.'

James beamed and flew off after the quaffle again, hoping to score yet another point. But it was in Slytherin's possession. The broad shouldered, green-clothed girl soar off to the other end of the pitch. She hastily tried to stop her broom, but the speed she had built up throughout the length of the pitch was too much. She flew right into Caitlin, knocking her off her broom. But with a free hand, she quickly grabbed onto the end. She swung her legs as hard as she could and finally climbed on. She was pleased to see that James had caught the fallen quaffle and was now taking a shot on the Slytherin goal.

'Another ten points to Gryffindor!' the voice shouted 'And the Gryffindor seeker seems to have spotted the snitch. Come on, Justin! Come on! YES! He's got it.'

The crowds cheered, mainly the supporters dressed in scarlet and gold, as each of the Gryffindor players dismounted from their brooms and walked towards the changing rooms laughing, ecstatic at the idea of their victory.

As James happened to glance over his shoulder, he caught the some one's eye. Bright, green – one of a kind. He couldn't mistake that gaze for anyone else's. He had turned around to find Lily staring at him, but when she realized he was looking back at her, she turned away and began to head up to the castle with the others.

James couldn't help but smile.

A/N: Please review, please, please. I'll love you forever if you do. I dunno if I should continue if I dunno if anyone likes it. So, yeah…I'll try and update soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: Being seventeen is never as easy as it appears. Somehow, through trauma and horror, love seems to sprout between the most unlikely of pairs. But it had always been undeniable; the passion between both Lily and James had always been there.

Genre and Rating: Romance and Angst. Rating M, just to be safe.

Disclaimer: For God's sake, people. If I had invented Harry Potter, would I still be writing fan-fictions?

Author's rant: Sorry about the no line-breaks thing. They disappear when I upload it. It's rather strange. Keep readin' and reviewin'.

Chapter 3: I want to tell you.

He felt as though he could skip back to the castle in glee, floating on his own personal cloud. Nothing could break his spirits.

'So, she was looking at you. Big deal.' Caitlin muttered, as she and James walked back up to the Gryffindor Tower, brooms in hand.

'Don't you get it? She never looks at me. Never, ever, never.' He laughed.

She rolled her eyes and stopped in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady. 'Treacle Tart.'

The portrait swung open, admitting the two students.

'Are you still going to help me?' James whispered to Caitlin, a glint of red hair by the window catching his eye.

'Help? Help wh- Oh, that. Look, I said I'd help, I'm not going to change my mind.' She smiled, rolling her eyes again as she walked away from James and over to sit by Lily. James sighed and watched her go. He _would_ win her over if it was the last thing he ever did.

-+-+-

James awoke the next morning, tired as though he had just fallen asleep. Which wasn't true, not at the very least. It was noon on this beautiful, sunny Saturday and he had been asleep for at least ten hours. It was long enough for the teenaged boy. Running a hand through his messy hair, the other palm groped around his bedside table for his glasses, long, pale fingers closing around them. The dormitory suddenly swam into clearer focus, and he saw two taller figures standing over him, holding back the hangings around his bed.

'So, you two woke me up, hmm?' he said groggily, peering up at Sirius and Remus.

'Yeah, figured you'd be hungry.' Sirius snickered.

'And, you have a note.' Remus added, holding out a pink envelope, decorated in flowers.

'And no, Severus didn't send it.' Sirius said, watching James take the note and read his name written in small, curly writing.

He laughed and slid his thumb underneath the flap, pulling out a thin sheet of paper.

'Who's it from?' Remus inquired, looking down.

'Caitlin.' James said simply, reading the letter over quickly.

'Caitlin…I know that name…' Sirius said.

'She threw chocolate pudding at you last year.' Remus reminded him with a sigh.

'Ah, yes. I still don't understand why…'

James looked up for a minute with a smile on his face 'You were staring down her shirt.'

'Oh…' Sirius said thoughtfully, slowly turning on his heel and leaving the dormitory.

'I've always wondered how he dresses himself in the morning.' Remus sighed again, watching him leave.

'I thought Peter helped him.' James said, beaming as he finished Caitlin's short letter and threw it aside.

'What's the note for, lover boy?' Remus asked as the two of them walked down to lunch.

'Leave her a note.' James said simply. 'I'll meet you down in the Hal in a few minutes, okay?'

Remus nodded and walked inside, finding a seat next to Sirius who had his head down on top of his arms.

'Something the matter, Padfoot?' Remus asked, looking at his friend.

Sirius looked up, his face dripping in soggy cereal.

'Just a little flashback from a few years ago…' he sighed.

Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw Caitlin, Lily and Tyler walking away from the table. And he could have sworn that he saw Caitlin throw Sirius a dirty look over her shoulder, as she disappeared out of the hall.

-+-+-

James sat up on his bed, quill stuck pensively between his front teeth, a near-blank piece of parchment in his lap. The only words written were 'Dear Lily' in messy writing at the top of the page. The advice would have been extremely useful, had the letter _not_ been sent to one James Potter. How on earth was he supposed to tell her how he felt in a note? He say it aloud, let alone write in down in some form of poetic mumbo-jumbo.

But, how _did_ he feel about Lily? All he'd have to do is think about what she means to him, and write it down. How hard could it possibly be?

An hour later, James still sat there, nothing more written onto his piece of parchment. Okay, so it hadn't been as easy as he thought.

'What are you doing?' Remus asked, as he and Sirius entered the dormitory again.

'Trying to write a letter to Lily…' he said, looking rather frustrated.

'What kind of letter?' Sirius asked, plopping down next to him and reading what Jaems had written over his shoulder.

'Whatever kind of letter it is…you haven't gotten very far.' Remus remarked.

'Okay, look. I didn't get far before, and with you here distracting me, I might as well try and use telepathy to communicate with Lily.' James said, rolling his eyes.

'You can do that?' Sirius asked, lifting an eyebrow inquiringly. The other two boys rolled their eyes.

'Why don't you go outside then? There's practically no one out there.' Remus noted, ignoring Sirius, just like they always did.

'Thanks for the idea.' James smiled, gathering his things into his backpack and walking out of the dormitory.

'What, is it easier to mind-connect outside in fresh air?' Sirius asked, watching James leave with a puzzled look on his face.

-+-+-

Ah, now this was much better. The fresh air, the crisp breeze, the chirping of the birds. It was wonderful. But it was doing absolutely nothing to help him along with his letter writing. He pulled his quill out of his bag, and pressed the point to a new piece of parchment, moving the point to form the words 'Dear Lily' once more. It was then that he felt a tap on his shoulder, and he quickly turned the parchment over, looking around. Tyler was standing right behind him.

'Oh, Hi Ty.' James said, smiling lightly.

'What are you up to, Mr. Mystery?' she asked, swinging her golden hair away from her face as she took the vacant seat next to him.

'Writing a letter.' He sighed. 'Trying to, anyway. It's not going very well.'

'Letter to Lily, lover-boy?' Tyler asked, quirking an eyebrow with a smirk stretched across her face.

'How did you know that?' James inquired, nervously.

'Relax. Caitlin told me this morning.' She told him 'So, let's see what you've got so far.'

James handed her the letter, scratching the back of his head lightly.

'That's it?' Tyler asked, looking up in disbelief.

'Writing the letter isn't as easy as it sounds.' James scolded, snatching the letter back.

'Alright. James, how do you really feel about Lily?' Tyler asked.

'Well, I like her. Obviously. I really like her. Hell, I _love_ her.' He said 'But I don't know how I'm supposed to tell her that…'

'Write that down.' Tyler said, japing the parchment with an inch-long nail.

James hastened to do as he was told, and scribble a few words down.

'Now, what would you do without her?' Tyler asked, a finger placed at the corner of her mouth in thought.

'I dunno. Lie in my bed and stay there 'till I die?' he said.

'Good answer. Write that down…'

'Bu-'

'Write. It. Down.' She repeated.

James sighed, but wrote it down, nevertheless.

'Now sign your name. Sincerely, whatever…whatever…' she said, waving her hand impatiently.

'And…?' James said, looking up from his newly finished letter.

'Go leave it in her backpack, she left it by the window this morning.' Tyler said.

'Bu-'

'Go.' She said, poking him hard in the shoulder.

-+-+-

'Have a decent day, Lils?' Caitlin asked, as the three girls were sitting on Tyler's bed that night, after dinner.

'Decent. Sure.' She said, pulling her backpack towards her. Caitlin and Tyler fought hard to control their giggles.

'What?' Lily asked, looking up at both of her friends with a suspicious look on her face.

'Nothing, I think I had too much pumpkin juice today at dinner. I'll be right back.' Caitlin said, her voice low from suppressed laughter.

'Yeah, me too.' Tyler mumbled quickly, leaping after Caitlin and they both bounded down the stairs into the common room before Lily could open her bag.

Shaking her head, and muttering something like 'Stupid kids' she unfastened the buckle on her backpack and emptied the contents onto her own bed. She sorted through her books and quills and ink bottles, separating them into piles on her pillow. That was when she noticed a small, green envelope with her name written on it. Curiosity shone in her eyes as she slid her finger beneath the flap and pulled a rather crumpled piece of paper out.

_Dear Lily,_

_I really, really don't know how to tell you this, so I apologize in advance if it sounds stupid. I really, really like you, Lily – Love, you, actually. I honestly don't know what I would do if you weren't around. Something like, lying around in bed till I die…I don't know. _

_Sincerely, James Potter. _

It hadn't been a letter she had been expecting. It hadn't been the most beautiful, romantic poem she had ever read. But there were still butterflies soaring around in her stomach.

She felt better than she had in days; she didn't want the feeling to go away.

-+-+-

A/N: Yeah. Thanks for all the reviews guys. I need at least another review before I add the next chapter. So, if /anyone/ out there wants me to update, you know what you've got to do. Hehe.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm here for you; always.

Summary: Being seventeen is never as easy as it appears. Somehow, through trauma and horror, love seems to sprout between the most unlikely of pairs. But it had always been undeniable; the passion between both Lily and James had always been there.

Genre and Rating: Romance and Angst. Rating M, just to be safe.

Disclaimer: For Dumbledore's sake, people. If I had invented Harry Potter, would I still be writing fan-fictions?

Author's Ramble: I just got the new book and finished it. How awful was that ending? I was practically in tears. Screw that, I /was/ in tears. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Keep reading, people. I swear, it gets better.

Chapter 4 : I want to trust you.

_I just need to sleep on it,_ Lily thought. _I sleep on it, and all these feelings just go away. I mean, he can't have changed _that_ much. There's nothing he can do to change my mind and make me like him…right…?_

Soon after her array of confusing thoughts, she had become dead to the world. Collapsed back onto her pillow, her lips slightly parted and her red hair in bright contrast with the white of her pillow.

'Think she read the letter?' Tyler asked.

Caitlin picked up the torn and empty envelope 'What do you think?' she said in a reply, showing the blond girl the used envelope.

'Okay. She read the letter…How do you think she took the whole thing?' Tyler asked.

Caitlin rolled her eyes 'Do I look omniscient to you?' she asked, turning on her heel and walking over to her own bed, throwing herself down on it and turning to face the wall. Still looking confused, Tyler shrugged and walked slowly over to her own bed.

Within minutes, all three of the girls in the dormitory that night were fast asleep beneath the blankets of their warm beds.

-+-+

'Now, I need your help.'

'What for?'

'Ty.'

James looked over at Caitlin, who was standing right behind him as they both walked around in the library, Caitlin tailing his every move.

'What about Hanson?' he asked, his eyebrows knitting together curiously.

'I need your help.' Caitlin chimed, bouncing on the balls of her feet, her old and worn sneakers squeaking against the floor.

'I know. You've said that already.' James said, eyeing her curiously

'She's sad. And lonely. Help?'

'What do you want me to do about it?' he asked, still not catching on.

'Help me find some one to hook her up with.' She sighed, pulling on James' arms. Tyler had never been one to speak for herself. She was the quiet, timid kind of girl that kept all her secrets and wishes locked up inside her. She was glad to have friends like Lily and Caitlin, who stood up for her when people would pry and tease. And Tyler was thankful that they treated her unlike the rest of the school.

'Like who?'

'I dunno.' Caitlin giggled 'You're smart, think of some one…'

'Sirius?'

'Eww. No. Gross. She doesn't like him very much, something about being a womanizer or something, something…'

James rolled his eyes 'Remus?'

'What's he like?'

'Smart, quiet...quieter, anyway…er…loyal.' He said thoughtfully.

'Sounds wonderful.' Caitlin said 'Okay. I helped you with Lily, you help me with Ty and Remus.'

'Bu-'

'Help me, or there won't be any more tips about how to win Evans over.'

James sighed. She wasn't exactly leaving him many options. 'Fine.'

'Wonderful, darling.' Caitlin beamed, spinning once in a circle and walking off towards the library doors.

'Wait!' James called after her.

Caitlin stopped and turned around, looking at him and twisted a strand of ebony hair around one finger. 'Hmm?'

'Did Lily read the letter?'

'Uh-huh.'

'And? What did she say?' he exclaimed, grabbing the girl by the shoulders and shaking her lightly.

She calmly removed his hands from her arms and stepped back. 'Simmer down, lover boy. I wasn't in the room, and I haven't spoken to her. She was asleep when we got back last night, awake and gone before we were this morning.'

'Where were you last night?' James asked, suspiciously.

'That's not your concern…' Caitlin mumbled, turning to leave again and disappearing around the corner, leaving James standing there with a book limply in his hands.

-+-+-

'How's Anna?' Remus inquired, as each of the Marauders sat on the floor in their dormitory.

'Anna? Oh, Anna…I don't know. Dumped her a few days ago…' Sirius sighed, taking a sip from the glass of butterbeer that he, like the rest of them, was nursing in his hands.

'How long did that relationship last?'

'A week?' Remus tried

'Three days?'

'A month?'

'Nah, it couldn't be a month.'

'Dudes, how 'bout I just answer you, instead of listening to you argue about how long I can keep a girlfriend. Cause really…It's starting to get a bit clichéd.' Sirius sighed

'Never knew it bothered you.' Remus said with a shrug

'I know why…You like some one, don't you?' James said, pointing an accusing finger at his best friend.

'So, he likes lots of people?' Remus muttered

'I mean _really_ likes some one. Not that whole date 'em and drop 'em, kind of liking.'

'Is that true?'

Sirius shrugged 'I don't know. Leave me alone.' He said, waving his hand impatiently.

'Well, who is it?' James asked, smiling lightly as he downed the last few drops of his butterbeer.

Sirius sighed and shook his head. 'No one. Leave me alone…' he got to his feet, and placed his now empty glass on his bedside table, walking out of the dormitory.

'Ouch.' James muttered.

-+-+-

Lily sighed, pulling her cloak closer around herself as the evening wind was beginning to grow colder. Caitlin and Tyler were probably sitting up in the library, still 'working' on their potions essay. When Lily had left, they were still talking about nail polish and snakes, so she figured that it would be as good a time as any to think about things. And where better to sit, alone, and have a chance to clear her mind and express her thoughts, than outside by the lake. It was a beautiful sight, to see the sun setting far off over the rippling lake water, soft grey clouds moving in around the light.

She sighed lightly and jumped, uttering a soft yelp as she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked around to see Sirius, lowering himself to sit beside her.

'Gods, Sirius. You scared me.' She sighed, leaning back onto her hands.

'Sorry.' He smiled 'I wasn't expecting to see you outside after hours. Something about abiding every rule know in the history of man?'

'Ha, ha.' Lily replied, sardonically. ' I just need a few hours to think about things.'

'The letter James wrote you?'

'How did you know about that?' Lily asked, looking over at him with her eyebrows raised.

'I saw him struggle to write it. Never seen such concentration on his face…It was scary.'

Lily gave a light laugh.

'He really does like you, you know. And it's starting to get annoying, 'cause you're all he ever talks about.' Sirius said 'With good reason, of course.'

Lily smiled over at him. 'I don't know Sirius. I mean, he is different…'

'I know. Look at what you've done to him. You've got his mother thinking something's wrong, 'cause there hasn't been a letter from Dumbledore sent home yet.'

Lily shook her head. 'What should I do?'

'You already know what I think you should do. You already know what _everyone_ thinks you should do. No one else can tell you what to think.'

She sighed, and fell backwards onto her back; her arms sprawled out at her sides and her eyes snapped shut.

'Give him a chance Lily; shut him up. He's crazy about you, and for some reason, I think you're quite found of him as well. What can you lose by going on one date with him, hmm?'

'You're right.' She said, opening her eyes and smiling up at him. 'Thank you, Sirius.'

Sirius smiled, that lopsided grin of his that had everyone's heart melting in an instant. 'Glad to be of assistance, Miss Evans.' He said, getting to his feet and bowing before walking back up to the castle.

'Ask her out, Sirius.'

'What?' Sirius exclaimed, stopping and turning around to look at her with an eyebrow raised.

'That girl, the one that you like…Ask her out. I think you'd make her quite happy.'

'How did you kn-'

'Girl's instinct.'

Sirius didn't need more explanation than that, and he left Lily by the lake, deep in thought as she lay sprawled out over the grass.

His advice had sparked something at the back of her mind. It wasn't often that she would credit him for being right, but this time…he was. She _would_ give him a chance. There _really_ wasn't that much she could lose by it was there? She smiled, finally reaching an answer to her complicated array of heart filled questions, and sat up, thinking that she would go and tell him right now. She would ask him to next weekend's Hogsmeade trip, and everything would be perfect. She laughed out loud at the though, and gathered her things into her bag again.

Lily hadn't heard the quiet footsteps, as a blackened figure crept up behind her. But she felt its cold hand press itself over her mouth, and failed to let out the scream that died right there in her throat. She felt a pain in her head as a heavy, metal weight came into contact with her skull and she could feel slow drops of blood dripping down the back of her neck. The figure crouched down in front of her, staring at her with narrowed eyes.

That was the last thing she saw before she collapsed backwards onto the grass once more…

-+-+-

Authors Ramble: Yeah, I know. Awful ending, short chapter. Blah, blah blah…Thank you for all the reviews so far everyone. Keep reading and reviewing and yada, yada…


	5. Chapter 5

I'm here for you; always.

Summary: Being seventeen is never as easy as it appears. Somehow, through trauma and horror, love seems to sprout between the most unlikely of pairs. But it had always been undeniable; the passion between both Lily and James had always been there.

Genre and Rating: Romance and Angst. Rating M, just to be safe.

Disclaimer: For Dumbledore's sake, people. If I had invented Harry Potter, would I still be writing fan-fictions?

Author's Ramble: The review are all _so_ lovely. Thank you for still reading. Normally people drop my stories after chapter 1. XD Anyway, I'm /really/ sorry about the slow update.

Shattered Serenity – Actually, I hadn't intended Sirius getting together with either Caitlin or Tyler…I don't know yet. That was only added to the plot for fun. Oh, and you absolutely must update Drink up Me Hearties, soon.

Jingle-Bellz-ROCK – Thanks for the review love. Here's the update.

Animerockstar – Thank you.

BlackRose128 – I'm getting better at the page-break, things. XD Thanks for the reviews, hun.

Chapter 5: I want to kill you.

A dreary light told her it was dawn, as the sun's dimmed rays hit her closed eyelids. They slowly flickered open and she came to realize of the numbing pain, throbbing at the back of her head. She tried to lift her hand to massage the pounding sensation away, but found that she couldn't. Her hands were tied and bound at her sides, the thick ropes slowly digging cuts into her tiny wrists. She slowly looked around, desperately trying to ignore the pain in her skull. There were tall, spiny trees; dead looking and wispy, lining the clearing. The soil and many plants and vines were unkept and dry. The surroundings alone sent shivers down her spine; Lily had always hated being in an unknown place by herself. Being tied to the mouldering stump of a tree didn't help her nerves. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck perk at the icy sound of some one's voice.

'Well, well, well…Miss Evans.' It said, the masculine tones sounding cold and vaguely familiar. A slender, sickly-thin figure made its way into her view.

'I've been waiting a long time to get my hands on you, you filthy mudblood…' he hissed 'We all have…'

About a dozen more cloaked figures swam into her blurred focus, each wearing an identical sneer beneath their hoods. What a wonderful place to be on a Sunday morning…

* * *

'Where do you think Lily's disappeared to?' Tyler asked of Caitlin as they sat at the far end of the Gryffindor table.

'I dunno…' Caitlin shrugged, 'She didn't come back into the dorm last night.'

'What?' a voice exclaimed from behind her. The two girls turned to see James, Sirius and Remus standing there, James looking a bit concerned.

'Eavesdropping are we?' Caitlin murmured, looking rather amused.

James simply stood there waiting for an answer and Tyler continued 'We don't know where Lily is. She said she was going for a walk last night and we didn't hear her come in.'

'She was down by the lake.' Sirius said drowsily and the lot of them turn to look at him.

'What?' James repeated.

'Manners, Prongs. She was down by the lake last night, thinking I believe she said…' Sirius explained.

'But you came up early last night, Padfoot.' Remus pointed out.

'So we still have a missing Lily?' Caitlin muttered, turning properly around in her seat.

'Not for long.' James said grimly.

* * *

'So, Miss Evans, Why do you think we've brought you here?' the male voice sneered, now bending down before her as the others behind him snickered amongst one another.

Even if she _had_ wanted to respond there was no way possible. The rope binding her tongue back forbade her to speak.

The man laughed ruthlessly 'Why so quiet, Miss Evans?' he asked sardonically. With an instant snap of his fingers, the ropes sprang free and Lily collapsed to a crumpled heap.

'So weak…' A female voice sneered from over the man's shoulder.

'Quiet, Bella.' The man hissed. Lily realized that she recognized the drawling, female voice. Sirius' cousin, having graduated last year, remained the same as ever.

'Forgive me for stating the obvious, Lucius.' Bellatrix spat, waltzing forward.

'Easier said than done.' He snarled in a simple reply to Bella's cheek. He turned his attention back towards Lily, rolling his eyes as he saw her shoulder shaking lightly, tears rolling down her cheeks and off her chin; her head bowed. 'Stop your whimpering!' Lucius commanded, grasping a handful of Lily's hair and lifted her head. The group around them laughed, her tears now clearly visible. Bella wore an expression of utmost satisfaction, Lily's pain being her pure enjoyment.

'Do you know why you're here, Mudblood?' Lucious asked, throwing her away from him as though her very touch was contaminating. 'Care to explain Bella? You seem to be wanting to talk, so talk…'

Bella's eyes narrowed, but she began to speak nevertheless. 'Our numbers are decreasing Evans.' She spat simply 'We are growing weaker in power and when we are weak, our master is weak. That's not something we want, now is it? Your confounded ministry is sending Aurors on our trails, wiping out our groups, slowly but surely. And do you know who's leading them, Missy?'

Lily made no sound nor movement but watched, mystified as Bella drew her wand.

'Do you _know_ who's leading them?' she repeated warningly. Lily eyed her wand wearily and shook her head, not daring to disobey in her current position.

'Ickle Sullivan Potter.' She said, her voice low and icy. At the name Potter, Lily looked up.

'Potter and his stupid wife, ringleaders of that particular group of Aurors, are tracking us down. We need to get rid of them, and do you know how we're doing that?'

Eyeing the outstretched wand again, Lily shook her head.

'By using you. By merely using the Potters' weaknesses. The Mr. and Mrs. have the perfect son, as you know. Nice grades, Head Boy I believe and rather dashing. _Just like his parents._ That's when we thought, a boy like that – parents would be rather missing him if he were to…disappear. But alas, we were met with another little snag. How to get at the Potter boy? His talents with a wand are famed, talents beyond his years. Not to mention that Muggle-loving fool, Dumbledore, guarding his castle like a mother hawk, James nestled safely inside.' She sighed, brushing a few stray strands of hair away from her face.

'That's where you come in, Missy. He seems to have developed a sort of fetish for you, over the years. Growing and growing until you were the girl he'd die for. Perfect, hmm? Here we are, looking for a way to kill Potter and you appear! The girl of his dreams, alone and vulnerable with her wand back up at the castle. So we brought you here, and soon enough…Potter will come looking for you…' There was a maddening glint in her eyes, her knuckles turning white as her grip on her wand tightened. 'And we will kill him. It'll bring the down fall of the Aurors, and our empire will rise!'

Slowly racking her mind, Lily was taking all this in. Using her to kill James? Just as she finally discovers how she feels about him, she would be the reason for his fall. In a moment, she had fallen forward onto her arms, sobbing onto the torn and bloody sleeves of her cloak.

'Pathetic.' Bella muttered, raising her wand once more and pointed it at Lily's quivering form. '_Crucio!'_ she yelled into the silence surround the pack. With a horrific feeling, a sensation on white hot knives piercing every inch of her body ran over her, writhing and screaming on the floor, praying for the pain to stop. But it didn't.

* * *

'We're probably getting worked up over nothing. She might just be at the back of the library or out in the greenhouses…' Tyler shrugged.

'Stop pacing, James. You're making me sick.' Caitlin said, hanging upside down over the arm of a comfy chintz chair.

'If she's not back by dinner, we're going to Dumbledore.' He stated, collapsing onto the sofa by the fire.

'Agreed.' Tyler said nodding.

As lines and groups and hoards of students filed into the Great Hall for dinner, Caitlin and Tyler felt rather lonely without the taller form of Lily between the two of them and they were realizing that she wasn't, after all, at the back of the library. She wasn't in the castle or on the grounds, period. Lily was missing.

'It's dinner. Any sign of her?' Sirius asked, as he and Remus sat down with the two girls.

'No, none.' Tyler sighed.

'Where's James?' Caitlin asked, realizing that their number of three had diminished to two.

'He wanted to check the library one more time.' Remus said, looking thoroughly put-out.

'It's really taking a toll on him, not having Lily around for eye-candy.' Sirius added grimly, nodding towards the doors as James entered the hall, looking truly glum. He sat down at the Gryffindor table, between Tyler and Sirius and banged his head heavily on the table.

'No luck, I see?' Remus asked, not expecting an answer.

'Going to Dumbledore?' Tyler murmured.

Without lifting his head off the table, James nodded. Without bothering to eat the wonderful food that filled their plates, the miserable students got to their feet and began to walk up to the staff table. They stopped in front of Dumbledore's seat as he watched them curiously. It was rather odd to see such a lively batch of students looking so blue. James, Sirius, Remus, Tyler and Caitlin exchanged looks before James sighed and peered up at the Headmaster, his eyes heavy and shoulders sagged.

'Lily's missing.' He said slowly, watching as a frown appeared on Dumbledore's face.

'Missing?'

'She didn't come up to the dormitory last night.' Caitlin explained.

'I saw her down by the lake around nine, but I went up to bed early.' Sirius added

'And we haven't seen her all day.' Tyler sighed

'We've looked everywhere…' Remus finished.

'No sign of her.' James muttered.

'Maybe we're not looking in the right places…' Dumbledore said, his uncertain voice sounding rather enigmatic. The elderly man beckoned for the group to follow without a word, as they lead him to his office.

* * *

It was scary…

Surrounded by an unknown group of hooded people, each pointing their wand at you as you writhed in pain on the ground at their feet, bleeding and tearing with every spell. Lily let out one shrill shriek and her movements stopped, her breathing slowing down to a rather unhealthy, melodic movement, too slow to be normal. Her eyelids hovered half opened, but she saw nothing of the movements and sights around her. All she saw was an unwelcoming blankness.

It was at that moment, as he sat in front of the pondering Headmaster, that he swore he would never let anything happen to _his_ Lily. Not now, not ever.

They had to find her.

* * *

(Authors Ramble): There ya go. I promise the next update will be quicker. I really don't know why it took so long this time. I apologize in advance if it's short and crappy. Anyway, please keep reading, and of course, reviewing! 

Love ya!


	6. Chapter 6

I'm here for you; always.

Summary: Being seventeen is never as easy as it appears. Somehow, through trauma and horror, love seems to sprout between the most unlikely of pairs. But it had always been undeniable; the passion between both Lily and James had always been there.

Genre and Rating: Romance and Angst. Rating M, just to be safe.

Disclaimer: For Dumbledore's sake, people. If I had invented Harry Potter, would I still be writing fan-fictions?

A/Ramble: I'm really sorry for the slow update. I was grounded for like…so long, it was unbelievable. Promise that the next few will be a bit quicker, if I don't totally get swamped by homework and ITT exams. Thanks for still reading, doll-faces.

Chapter 6: I want to save you.

She didn't really know how long she had been lying there. The once smooth and shiny glass of her silver wristwatch had shattered; she had lost track of all time. The hovering groups of cloaked figures – Death Eaters they called themselves had left for the time being. Where they had gone – she hadn't the slightest clue.

Her mess of dark red hair hung over her shoulders, the blood nearly unrecognizable against the colour of her hair. But it was there, nevertheless. She felt cold, ice-like drop sliding down the back of her neck, she assumed, from the wound in her skull. Everything was black. She had yet to open her eyes, just praying that this whole thing wasn't real. But the stinging on her skin told her that it was _just_ a prayer.

Slowly, weakly, her eyes flickered open, even the many shades of green looking dark and heavy. There were light scratches over her eyelids, but they didn't seem to bother her. A moan gently echoed through the empty lands and she lifted her heavy head. Blinking, she could distantly see the peaks of the mountains surrounding the school. She figured they couldn't be more than a few kilometres away from the vast grounds of Hogwarts and if she could only find her way back…

* * *

'Will you stop pacing? Your making the rest of us bloody nervous…' Tyler scolded, following James' path up and down the rug. His footprints had worn traces in the soft velvet, but he didn't care.  
'Sorry.' He muttered, looking thoroughly distracted as he through himself into the seat next to Sirius.  
'That's better. Look, we've got to stop worrying. Lily's a big girl. She can take care of herself.' Caitlin pointed out. Remus nodded in agreement. He would rather see his friends up and pranking innocent passer-bys than lying around worrying.  
'Still can't help but worry.' James said, looking down at his feet and chewing on the low nail of his thumb.

'Things'll get better mate. Lily will be back by tonight and it will all go back to normal.' Sirius said, trying, despite how he actually felt, to be optimistic. It seemed to work, for James tried to give them all a light smile.  
'Yeah, you're probably right.'  
'I _always_ am.' Sirius grinned.

* * *

Walking back to Hogwarts wasn't as easy as it seemed. Lily's poor and utterly destroyed legs wobbled beneath her weight and she desperately clung to the low tree branches to keep from falling over. But she _had_ to get back.

She stopped her wand, lying astray not too far away. With a flicker of hope, she edged towards it, falling to her knees as she scrambled to pick it up, her hands shaking. But her face fell and the wand fell into two parts between her fingers. Her eyes burned with tears as the salt seeped through the cuts and stung. She hardly noticed. Lily hoisted herself to her feet again and took a few staggered steps forward, her feet dragging along the ground. Slowly but surely, she would find her way back to safety – hopefully, before it got so dark she couldn't see.

* * *

By nightfall, James had lost faith that Lily would in fact be back by dinner and everyone would be normal again. He stared hopelessly out the window, recalling Dumbledore's warning words in his head.  
_'You must stay here. I will have my own ways of finding our Head Girl. You cannot go and look for her when you are emotionally involved.' _  
And he still wondered what Dumbledore was doing to find her. But he chose to listen to him, this one time being his first. James seemed to think that Lily was far more important that upholding the reputation that he had. And she was.

He hadn't realized it then, but all those times when he wondered why it hurt so badly when she yelled at him, they meant something. She hadn't been like all those other girls that collapsed at his feet, willing to do whatever he said. She was enigmatic and special to him and he tried so hard to get her to see the way everyone else did.

It was then that he realized that he didn't want her to see him like everyone else did. All the other students in Hogwarts thought of him as some good-looking guy in the school, with all the right friends and all the right moves. He wanted Lily to see the real person that he had been since he was born. The person that his friends saw.

But he never had the stones to tell her. Every time he tried, he got tongue-tied and his words were twisted. The only thing he could think about was impressing her and not once had he seen that it wasn't working.

And now, now that she was gone and hadn't come back, it dawned on him that he cared more about Lily than anyone else. Would he have the chance to tell her that…?

Ending his long train of confusing and hurtful thoughts, he turned away from the window and looked around at his friends.  
'I'm going for a walk. I'll be back later.' He announced, his voice monotone and quiet.  
They all nodded and nervously watched him walk through the portrait hole.  
'He _will _come back right?' Tyler asked.

* * *

She could see the gates now. Whether she was simply hallucinating or seeing the actual entrance to the grounds, she didn't know. She was so tempted to just collapse where she was and just hope that some one would find her sooner or later, but the images of James and all her friends swam before her eyes and she found her feet still moving along the rocky path. As she stood there, the gates swung open and she stumbled into courtyard, looking around slowly. The vision of the lake and the border of the forbidden forest came into view and she continued moving towards it. Just as she stood by the edge of the lake, a familiar outline was seen, walking out of the castle with his hands in his pockets, his eyes to the ground. She collapsed with a light splash, falling into the shallow edge of the water.

James started and looked over towards the water where a small and shapely person was passed-out into the water. Even from so far away, he recognized the head of matted red hair and blinked, daring to believe it. He sprinted, unable to think of a moment when he had run so fast in his life, falling to his knees at Lily's side.  
'Lily!' he gasped loudly, gently shaking her shoulders and clutching onto her cold and trembling hand.  
She moaned lightly, opening her eyes and looking up as the waves of the lake slowly swam around her still body.  
'J-James?' she said uncertainly, moving her head to the side and feeling the cold water rush against her cheek.  
He tried hard to suppress the thankfulness and happiness that had erupted in an enormous bubble at the bottom of his stomach.  
'Thank God.' He muttered 'It's okay. We'll get you to the hospital wing, okay?'  
Lily groaned again, moving her head again so she could stare up at him, her eyes still half closed.  
'They're after you…' she murmured, her voice low and raspy. 'They want you. Tell Dumbledore…'  
'What…? Lily, shh. I'll get you inside, okay. Can you put your arms around my neck?' he said, sliding his arms around her middle and slipping her out of the water. She lifted her arms slowly, feeling as though the blood pulsing through her had turned to the heaviest kind of lead, and wrapped them tightly around his neck. Her head rested against the warmth of her shoulder, she soon closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.  
James glanced down at her and smiled to himself, ever so thankful that she was okay. He gently kissed the top of her hair and carried her off to the hospital wing.

Maybe Sirius was right…Maybe things would go back to the way they had been. Anything was better than a missing Lily and a petrified James. Maybe…

* * *

A/N: Gah! I know it's short. My brain is like…gone…somewhere. And I have to study for ITT and Geography. And I have to write up my English paper and practice the flute. I'll have the next chapter up by Sunday at the very latest. Promise. As always, please read and review! They really make my day… 


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